Some sleep.

I know I put too many videos and songs here instead of actually writing. It's just that I love how songs can express how I feel or what I think what that week or couple of days. I love the whole lyrics of a song, and the melody and how it moves some people. Every person I know I have a song that reminds of me of them, and every situation in my life that was important there is a song. I'll never forget.
SO anyways, this week I have been having problems to fall asleep. I dont know if its because exams, PMS, homesickness that builds up to anxiety. It's like I go to bed and everything I could think floats around my brain.
And then as browsing through some Jack Johnson (best thing to relax in the whole world) I found this song, that perfectly defines how I am feeling now...
It's called "No Other Way".
I found this live version. Cute.
It reminds me of the first day I moved to this apt, Katie turned on her music and it was playing "Flake" by him and she said to Christian "Did you know that he is going to secretly marry me?"
I think it was the first joke we managed to make here. ;)

I promise next week my writing skills will be more developed. :)



But at least we can sleep, its all that we need
When we wake we will find
Our minds will be free to go to sleep

Good night.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go.
Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right.
And sometimes good things fall apart so better ones can fall together"

Old article I found...

I found this article, from last year. I have to say, Tate was one of the cool people I interviewed and enjoyed writing about. It was really bad that the article had to be super short, because I could have developed so much more about his work.

When I heard about him and how famous his book was, I was so worried about interviewing him or how I could do this without sounding stupid. But he was awesome, he is so nice and was willing to explain everything on the book. The funny part was when I had to take a picture of him for the article! How do you photograph a photographer?! But again, was a great interview.
I bought the book right after interviewing him. The book was very smart and fun to read in my opinion. It's a great book for a foreigner like me that is embarassed to ask what a "pearl necklace" means and can still get a tasteful explanation.

Here it is:

For times when people wonder what expressions such as “pop that cherry” or “pearl necklace” mean, photographer and IU graduate student Jordan Tate created a dictionary to clarify – in a fun and creative way – the literal and sexual meanings of phrases like these and many more.
“The Contemporary Dictionary of Sexual Euphemisms,” published on January of 2007 illustrates in its pictures the literal meaning of the expressions while its definitions contain the two different explanations and the origin of the euphemism.
Tate, a M.D.A. candidate at IU’s Henry Radford Hope School of Fine Arts, explained that with such dictionary he wanted to address the insecurity and homophobia of the male sexuality.
“But my major goal was to address an audience that wouldn’t read or explore the work I was doing previously,” he said.
The book was sold in countries such as Canada, England, Germany and France and some of its pictures can be found in the February issue of Playboy magazine.
Tate’s book can be purchased at Amazon.com or at the friends of art bookstore at the SoFA gallery.

'Sta luego!

Everybody is free

These last week I've getting great advice from people about feeling better and less stressed. Or about anything else.
That's when I randomly thought of this video, super old, that I did a project on when I was in high school. I dont even remember what the project was about...But I remember loving this video and everything it says. It's from the same director as Moulin Rouge and Romeo and Juliet, and unfortunally the best version I could find was with portuguese subtitles.
I love the advice in this video...it's clear, simple and doable (did I spell it right??)

Im going to go back to write my paper. I hope this week flies so I can see David as soon as possible. I miss him terribly.

Well, that's the video called "everybody is free (to wear sunscreen)" by Baz Luhrmann.

Happenings and thoughts.

Well, I should sleep. But no, Im bored and not tired at all. I should write my paper - I got only one page. I've been getting so easily distracted that is unbelievable.
Such a great mood swing. Last weekend I was so homesick, and this week I am giggly for the entire day, which feels great, but there's no productivity what so ever.
But tomorrow hopefully will be better. I have tons to do...And I cant wait till this week is over... February 2nd I am planning on some Coronas. Let's see.
PMS will be on its way on that weekend, so it will be interesting to keep living the mood swings. :D

Nothing else is really new. Christian and I were planning trips to Berlin and Lisbon, Jen and I to Florence and I was talking to Matt about Rome but it never came up again. I really wanted to take my mom to Rome, but the week she'll be here (Semana Santa in Spanish) Rome happens to be the #1 place to go - in other words - ridiculously expensive prices on the tickets and everything else.
Everyone is so stressed up that traveling is the last thing on their mind.

I've been reading American news. Heath Ledger died (sad - "10 things I hate about you" marked my adolescence with afternoons at my grandparent's with Juliana) and Hillary's presidential campaign is doing pre-tty well. In regards to that, I am quite happy.
However I have a comment to say.
I was reading the names of famous people and their donations to the democratic candidates, and what is very interesting is that every African American artist contributed to Obama.
Dont get me wrong. It would be great if the president of the US was a man from a minority and Obama is a great candidate in my opinion. But that's like every woman voting for Hillary!
At the end of it, voters should think about their country's issues, and their candidates abilities - not race or gender.

We all know how America is somewhat lead by these celebrities and how much what they say matters to everyone (Im not judging, I read celebrity gossip every day too!!!!)
And seeing all these African Americans voting for Obama sends out the wrong message - Kids my age are dying in this stupid war, and families are being lost. Gays couples can't be together legally and the dollar is going down.
Does the race or gender really matter at this point?!

Just a thought.

Other than that nothing. It's me going to bed with lovely plans to finish a paper.

Buenas noches,

"Think globally, act locally" (Unknown)

Some old classic good brazilian

Good to be brazilian....
to be able to truly appreciate Tom Jobim and Vinicius de Moraes composition/poetry (same writers from the "Garota de Ipanema"), and Ivete Sangalo's voice....
Beautiful song. Just amazing.




"E cada verso meu, será pra te dizer
Que eu sei que vou te amar, por toda minha vida"

Now its ok.

This week was long. That's how I start my post today.

I am not going to write about what was going on this week, it doesnt matter. Friday finally came, and I am still privated from sleep (for weeks) and worried. I've been trying to not worry all the time...
You know, everyone that is around me probably could say I am almost never in a bad mood...Or that I am constant or consistent or predictable - not the type of person who would behave differently without an explanation.

But today was different.
Even though I had only 2 hours of sleep, I managed to hang out after class, eat a kebab and talk in a great mood, the entire day. I couldnt take a nap this afternoon...
I feel as something is not leting me sleep.

I went to a restaurant, had a great dinner and was introduced by Matt to some of his friends (some people from Italy). Great people, and I was again...in a great mood.

But as I walked to the metro, I was just with myself. And that when trouble starts. I sat on the metro with an empty mind and suddenly two brothers crossed the door. I suppose they were around my age and my sister's age. Both were very good looking, and one was blind. Just a note: It always breaks my heart to see someone young with a type of disability. And his brother kept watching him and talking, having such a good "brother" time.
I missed my sister so bad and I dont know...Something just popped in my mind: how much I miss so many people, so many people, how alone I was feeling and how I dont remember feeling so fragile in such a long time. I put my head down, holding my scarf so tight and promising myself I wouldn't cry.
And that tiny tear came out. I put my head up and said to myself "Dont cry".
The freaking metro was packed, of drunk people, old people, tired workers...
And the next stop came up.
So this middled age guy as leaving, stops in front of me, puts his head down and looks at me while smiling and says, as if he knew me "Intenta positivar esa tristeza. Quedáte bien." ( Try to make this sadness positive. Take care) and I was so overwhelmed all I could say was "Gracias"

I was not expecting that. At all. And sometimes weird things like that happen...But I felt so thankful to hear that. I understood what he meant and that was enough for everything I wanted to cry - and eventually did.

Im being strong, and I am not complaining. And thats exactly the reason I dont dare calling anyone when I feel like this, not to hear "Oh you want to come back??"
No, I dont.
But everyone - once in a while - feel as fragile as a piece of thin porcelain and I cannot handle the "Oh but you chose this" crap.
It's a lesson I guess of how to deal with my own problems and how to learn about my emotions.

However, I confess: A word, a single word from confort, from someone I never saw and will never see in my life never felt as good as today. Thank you, whoever you are.

"...what do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good." (Garden State)

"Losing hope is easy
When your only friend is gone
And every time you look around
Well, it all, it all just seems to change
But hanging on is easy
When you've got a friend to call
When nothings making sense at all
You're not the only one who's afraid of change" (Jack Johnson - Losing Hope)



This week was long. That's how I finish this post.

Time to be bored

While taking a break, Katie and I decided to watch about "ssshhh" in the movies, since we've been telling each other to "ssshhh" here...
I love it.

Happy New Year - (Late!!)

Today is the lazyest (spelled correctly?) night of the year so far. :P Im just sitting in front of the computer, downloading music, and reading celebrity gossip. Then I thought it would be a great idea to write down here about my New year. 2007 was definitely one of the best years... Only great happening with me and my family, and for that I am very thankful to God.
I am still shaping my personality, but I feel that this past year I became much more aggressive about what I want from life and what's really there and how to make the best of it.
I see so many people around me complaining that Madrid is getting boring, but I am still trying to get the best out of it, and I am (without smoking pot, and going out every weekend...).
Well, but lets start from the beggining!!!!!

First I have to write all the things I am thankful for this year:

-For the opportunity of being here. :) Im loving every second even though I miss my family, David and my friends like crazy. But what makes me feel better is that this is 100% my choice and that I could always get a plane back to the US ...

-For meeting David. :) Further details I just prefer to tell him.

-For my - and my loved ones - health. Sometimes we take that for granted, but this is one of the most blessed things we all have!

-For meeting great people - such as my roomate Katie - this year. Its very cheesy but she held me down for the though moments, for the much needed conversations about every thing, for the laughs, the shared food and the hugs for everytime I cried. Katie is probably the reason 80% of the times I was upset, confused or PMS-ing never got to be known in the other continent :P

-For every little thing I learned here: About endurance, being simple, being open minded, and appreciating every thing 10000000000000 times more than I used to when close to home.
Its incredible but I only got to realize how much affection is important to me. I remember when my cousin Fabiana went to study in Australia for a year and wrote in a letter (that time there wasnt e-mail) to her mom: "When I was in Brazil all I wanted was a pair of Levi's, now all I want is a hug".
I know now what she meant ;)

-For not worrying about financial problems.

-For God :) Most of all, who gave me all these wonderful things.


I just wish 2008 is a year as good as this one. Or better. :)

"É tão bom viajarmos juntos
E viver aproveitando tudo
Amanhã vai ser melhor que hoje
Novos sonhos ao amanhecer" (Ivete Sangalo)

I need to write A LOT for the new year. But now its late and Im tired.

Katie just sent me a song, that I loved:)
Reminded me of David.


V1: I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

C: It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V2: The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hiding in a safer place
under covers stayin dry and warm
you give me feelins that I adore

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

B: What am I gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmm

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V3: I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

C: It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go, I'll always know
Cause you make me smile here, just for a while